Whose Watercourse Is This Anyway?

When I was in high school, I developed a "pet peeve." I may have developed a few of them, but this one I remember, because it happened so often that my irritation with it grew and grew until I became what is now popularly known as: "triggered." 

This will make me sound horribly old (I don't feel that old), but when I was in high school, we used chalkboards. That's right. Whiteboards were just coming into existence, and we had a few of them in our school, but by and large, chalk dust and chalk-smeared green backdrops were the reality of my academic existence.

And what happened was that several of my teachers, in their fervor and hurry to cram as much information into the uncomprehending brains of their students as possible, would fill up a chalkboard with notes and points, then erase the words in a hip and a hurry... and leave bits and pieces of the words behind. 

Little dots of chalk-writing, like the ghosts of former words, all over the chalkboard. 

I know this makes no sense, and possibly borders on diagnosable OCD, but my irritation with it started small, and over time, it grew and grew, until one day...

I stood up from my desk, marched to the front of the room mid-lecture, and finished erasing the board for my teacher.

I have a vague memory of him making a joke of it. Bless the man; that could have been much worse. 

But I had taken up an offense that did not belong to me, and I'd let it grow until it consumed my world in that moment.

Okay, Esther 5. Yesterday, Esther and Mordecai work out what has to be done in order to save the Jewish people from annihilation, and the thing that has to be done takes courage -- the kind of courage that requires laying down one's own life in order to save the lives of many.

And hey, look at that! We're suddenly at John 15:13, where it says in the words of the One Who did it best: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

Esther's circumstances are a salvation story! Not eternal salvation, but salvation for her people. She makes the decision to offer herself as the sacrificial lamb.

Two verses are enough to cover the crisis point, the moment when everything hangs in breathless balance, but they're a tense two verses: "On the third day (after Esther fasted with her maids in preparation for this moment; see yesterday's blog post), Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the palace, in front of the king's hall. The king was sitting on his royal throne in the hall, facing the entrance" (Esther 5:1).

Can you imagine? My heart rate speeds up thinking of what Esther had to do as she walked through the palace at Susa, one with an inner court, the winter home of the king of the entire Persian empire. Y'all, it wouldn't be like walking from the kitchen into the living room of my home. There would be halls to traverse and pillars to walk around and guards with sharp, shiny weapons everywhere. It would take time and many purposeful, intentional, steps to reach her intended target. And what she was doing... was illegal. Not only was it illegal, the punishment for the crime she was actively committing...

Was death. Not imprisonment and then death. Just... death. Like... she appears in the entrance of the inner court, the king stares at her and doesn't do anything, and one of those sharp, shiny weapons from one of those myriad palace guards heads her way. No ifs, ands, or buts, and no time to think.

This is it. No second chances.

So with the scene set, the next verse is a huge breath of relief. "When [King Xerxes] saw Queen Esther standing in the court, he was pleased with her and held out to her the gold scepter that was in his hand. So Esther approached and touched the tip of the scepter" (Esther 5:2).

So this morning, here I sat, sympathizing with the fear that Esther must surely have been facing in those breathless moments, when I thought of this verse, and it almost made me laugh simply because of the sheer contrast. Flip over to Proverbs 21:1: "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases."

I know I come from a denominational tradition that has, in the past, mostly shied away from the political landscape. And even now, I truly don't enjoy politics or issues that arise from them. I'd rather ignore the whole political scene, because there's so much dirty work usually found in the conducting of kingdom/country affairs. But this verse brings me no end of comfort, because God does intervene in the affairs of kingdoms and countries when He decides to carry out His plan.

And when He appointed Esther, when He chose her to stand in her position as queen of the Persian empire for such a time as this, and when her position required her to face down the enemy in order to save her people -- God took the king's heart in His own hand; He directed it like a watercourse where He wanted it to go.

Okay, so Esther touched the tip of the king's scepter, accepting his pardon for the crime she'd committed. "Then the king asked, 'What is it, Queen Esther? What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you."

Watercourse, y'all. A river flowing exactly where the Lord has carved out the streambed. Xerxes is so pleased with his queen that he offers her up to half of the Persian empire should she but make the request.

But look at this, even though Esther's life was spared in that moment, what she's getting ready to ask (the salvation of the entire nation of Jews, the salvation that lies in the king's hands) is a really big ask. She can't do it the first time he asks (v.3), nor the second time (v.6). She waits until the third time (7:2). I doubt she subscribed to the idiom: "Third time's the charm," but it was true in this case.

I'm getting ahead of the story.

Esther takes a deep breath and pushes aside the king's question with a simple request: "'If it pleases the king,' replied Esther, 'let the king, together with Haman, come today to a banquet I have prepared for him.'

"'Bring Haman at once,' the king said, 'so that we may do what Esther asks'" (Esther 5:4-5).

Oooh, watercourse. The Lord has hold of the heart of Xerxes and is paving the way for Esther's favor. 

So Haman and Xerxes come together to this lush banquet given by the queen, and they're the only two guests. You have to know, Xerxes is looking around like: Okay, she really wants something. His wife is a mystery, and perhaps Xerxes has the heart of a sleuth. He follows with fascination the carrot she dangles in front of him.

"As they were drinking wine, the king again asked Esther, 'Now what is your petition? It will be given you. And what is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be granted" (Esther 5:6).

Esther stalls one more time. "My petition and my request is this: If the king regards me with favor and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and fulfill my request, let the king and Haman come tomorrow to the banquet I will prepare for them. Then I will answer the king's question" (Esther 5:7-8).

And the entire reading audience gives a collective AUGH! 

Haman is sitting here listening to all this, deep in his cups, high in spirits. He's being noticed by both the king and the queen of the Persian empire. All his earthly ambitions are being fulfilled. His goal is power, as much of it as he can get, and every action throughout the book of Esther that he performs, he does... because power. He wants it; he longs for it.

Power grab #1: He somehow puts himself into such a position with the king that Xerxes raises him to a high place in his nobility.

Power grab #2: He seduces the king into making a law that cannot be revoked that involves the slaughter of a nation because a Jew won't acknowledge Haman's newfound power.

Power grab #3: (This one goes back a ways and is less obvious, but it's a power grab nonetheless) He has ten sons. According to the historian Herodotus, Persian kings sent the biggest prizes and gifts to their subjects who have the most sons. Men who had sons were prized second only to valor in battle. 

One can only imagine the plans Haman is concocting in his head as he's the single honored guest of both the king and the queen in the dining chambers. What power grab can he make with the favor of both monarchs?

Remember the old show: Ducktales? (The theme song has immediately begun playing on repeat in my head; oh, joy.) Sometimes, when Donald Duck would see Scrooge McDuck's money, his eyes would change from cartoon duck eyes... to eyes with dollar signs right in the middle of them. That's how I picture Haman, right here in this moment. His eyes are glistening with the possibilities of the power and the wealth he sees dancing almost within his reach.

He's buoyant by the time he leaves the banquet. But then...

Enter Mordecai.

It's like someone takes a needle and pops a balloon. He deflates. "Haman went out that day happy and in high spirits. But when he saw Mordecai at the king's gate and observed that he neither rose nor showed fear in his presence, he was filled with rage against Mordecai. Nevertheless, Haman restrained himself and went home" (Esther 5:9-10).

Triggered. Things are going well for him. His plans are successful. So far, everything seems to be falling into place, until.

Until Mordecai reminds him that there are things out of his control. That there is a power grab he has not yet completed. 

Which digs at his pride. Oh, pride.

Let's scene switch to Haman's house. "Calling together his friends and Zeresh, his wife, Haman boasted to them about his vast wealth, his many sons, and all the ways the king had honored him and how he had elevated him above the other nobles and officials. 'And that's not all,' Haman added. 'I'm the only person Queen Esther invited to accompany the king to the banquet she gave. And she has invited me along with the king tomorrow'" (Esther 5:10-12).

And then the kicker, because pride. "But all this gives me no satisfaction as long as I see that Jew Mordecai sitting at the king's gate" (Esther 5:13).

In other words, Mordecai is the single thread of failure to Haman's power-grabs. He's the single thing that keeps Haman from his plans' completion. Haman takes up an offense that does not belong to him, and he lets it grow until it consumes his whole world.

Triggered.

Zeresh, Haman's wife, has a suggestion. "Hey, honey, don't worry about it. Just have a gallows built, seventy-five feet high (this would be one of those impaling poles according to Persian capitol punishment tradition, and with that height, probably meant that it was set up on the walls of the city, similar to what the Philistines did to King Saul's body in 1 Samuel 31:10). Go ask the king in the morning to have Mordecai displayed on it, and then that afternoon, go eat your banquet and be happy."

Which... just makes the content of Esther 6 so... satisfying. But I'll get to that tomorrow.

Applying the content of Esther 5 hits a little close to home for many of us, doesn't it? Can you imagine taking up an offense that doesn't belong to you? Can you imagine getting offended over something that isn't really your issue?

Can you imagine marching past the teacher to erase the chalk marks that he made, the marks that don't truly matter, but because you've allowed yourself to dwell on it and fixate on it, it has built and grown into a monster in your mind, and you lash out... sometimes to your own destruction?

We have got to stop being offended. Stop being triggered. Stop picking up the battles that don't belong to us, because guess what? Listen carefully, this is important:

"This is what the Lord says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours... but God's" (2 Chronicles 20:15).

The battle belongs to the Lord. Not you. Not me.

Watercourse. We don't dig the trenches, y'all. The Lord paves the way wherever He pleases.