Word for the Church: Mirror Watching

Occasionally, over the years, I've fasted. 

That sounds weird when you say it by itself, because it's usually partnered with its twin: prayed. Fasted and prayed. 

Anyway, in the inevitable busy hamster wheel into which life often morphs, one of those twins sometimes got dropped, and the other twin... changed appearances and identity.

What I mean is, when I decided to fast, I had every Biblical intention found within those 66 books of humbling myself, seeking God's face, repenting of sin in my life, and then, with urgency, targeting the enemy in intercessory prayer, etc. 

Every one of those things are good things.

But because of the aforementioned hamster wheel, too often, I got distracted or lost focus, and the prayer twin slid sideways. When that happened, inevitably, the fasting twin turned from a tool of spiritual warfare -- into a diet. I was still fasting for all intents and purposes, but I was keeping an eye on my bathroom scales. I was looking up liquid cleanses. I was considering myself still "fasting," but the nearly irresistible carrot of the ideal body dangled brightly in front of me.

There are all sorts of problems with this, and most of the problems can be wrapped up in the word: Distraction. And hooo-boy, does our enemy know how to use distraction for his purposes. 

There's an old Jerry Lewis movie, Who's Minding the Store?, that our family used to watch, and at one point, Jerry, the dutiful but terribly clumsy salesperson, helps unload a supply truck into the back of the department store. He picks up a huge mirror that's just a little bigger than he is, and walks it down the truck ramp. Because the mirror is so huge and unwieldy, he loses his balance, and stumbles around to recover himself, but while he's doing that, the mirror catches the sun, and shines directly into the busy stream of traffic passing the store. Screeching brakes, angry shouts, and the sound of metallic crashes fill the scene... because nobody can see their intended target. They're blinded by distraction.

That's how I see Satan and his demons on their battle lines. His main strategy isn't to blast us out of the water. His methods are far more effective: He constantly flashes brilliant, pretty, eye-catching distractions that keep our attention from our Master, our Commander-in-Chief. We start out with great intentions, but those flashes are hard to ignore. Sometimes, if we let ourselves turn that way, the distraction can look a lot like our actual target, and we begin to rationalize the distraction as being the actual target.

Esther, the dear girl, is now surrounded by pretty things. Beautiful things. Things like luxury and ease. Things like attention and instant gratification (does this sound at all like the American dream? The pursuit of happiness? Just curious). In her place, I imagine it would be very, very, very difficult not to feel like The Chosen One, right? Out of all the many, many girls brought before the king, he chose me as queen. Perhaps she's even allowed her Jewish identity and the one true God associated with her people to take a back seat. 

There's no Scriptural basis for these speculations, but I'm acknowledging the habits of the enemy (distraction) and the willful bent of the human heart ("All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way..." - Isaiah 53:6).

Esther hears from her maids about Mordecai. I left him yesterday in the pit of despair at the beginning of Esther 4. "When Mordecai learned of all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the city, wailing loudly and bitterly" (Esther 4:1). He doesn't come into the king's gate where he sits in some kind of administrative, political position, because that's not allowed as long as he's in sackcloth and ashes, so he sits in the large square outside the gate.

And while he's there, Esther's maids tell the tale of this man named Mordecai, one of the leaders at the king's gate, now humbling himself by prostrating in sackcloth and ashes in the square. 

And Esther is "in great distress. She sent clothes for him to put on instead of his sackcloth, but he would not accept them" (Esther 4:4)

Okay, this makes me laugh... because did she think he had -- I don't know -- lost his actual clothes? That he had to yank our the first sackcloth from his dresser he could find to replace his lost clothing? Putting on sackcloth and sprinkling ashes on his head was a very deliberate and decisive act. But perhaps its a sign of distraction. Perhaps Esther, over the four or five years that she's lived in this new environment, has grown so accustomed to her luxurious surroundings that she's forgotten, just a little, why she's there.

Okay, "then Esther summoned Hathach, one of the king's eunuchs assigned to attend her, and ordered him to find out what was troubling Mordecai and why" (Esther 4:6). So Hathach goes and talks to Mordecai, and Mordecai explains the whole situation. In case Esther decides to laugh it off or tell him he's worrying too much, he adds two quite convincing pieces of evidence: a.) the amount of money Haman is paying into the royal treasury to make this happen, which is a staggering sum of ten thousand talents of silver -- roughly equivalent to two-thirds of the annual income of the Persian empire (source: historian Herodotus), and b.) the copy of the text of the edict for the Jewish annihilation. 

And Mordecai tells Esther to go talk to the king about it and "beg for mercy and plead with him for her people" (Esther 4:8).

Here's a problem for Esther, though. According to the historian Herodotus and also according to Esther 4:10-11, "All the king's officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned, the king has but one law: that he be put to death. The only exception to this is for the king to extend the gold scepter to him and spare his life. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king."

Ouch. Not only a wife scorned (maybe not scorned, just... forgotten beneath the constant parade of harem ladies aforementioned throughout this book; King Xerxes is not known for his marital fidelity), but now everything that Esther represents is on the line. Her background, her culture, her people...

Perhaps a minor thought flitted through her head that she could hide in plain sight, right? She's pretty. She's still -- sometimes -- got the ear of the king. He doesn't know she's Jewish.

But Mordecai tamps any distraction immediately. He steps right in the way of the enemy's mirrors and blocks their blinding influence. "Do not think that because you are in the king's house, you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

Dah, dah, daaaaaah! Story climax! Here we sit at the peak of the Esther story. Will she? Or won't she? Everything rides on her decision.

I've been thinking a lot about Esther lately, not just because I started studying the book for this blog. I've been thinking about how God orchestrates events and times and seasons... and then He fills each one of His people with the ability and fortitude and gifts to be able to do what He asks of us.

But we have a choice.

Esther didn't have to go to the king. She could have decided to ride it out, stick her head in the sand, go with the flow. It would certainly have been easier. She might not lose her job over this (you know, being queen, which is an important job). She might not lose her friends over this. She might be able to -- be a round peg in a round hole, sliding smoothly into place. No waves, no disruptions. So, soooooo easy.

But God didn't put her in her position to fit in. He put her there to stand out and stand up!

She and her father's family would perish, true... but she had the choice: Do I step out against the odds? Or do I step back and let the odds take me?

She made her choice, but first, look at what she tells Mordecai: "Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do (and I'll bet she didn't even think about bathroom scales a single time). When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish."

Girl gives me chills! This is where I want to live, right here. Not in the dread of: If I perish, I perish, but in the absolute, rock-solid certainty that I am stepping out, standing tall, being in that place where I have been brought to my position... for such a time as this.

Notice that Esther makes her choice before she goes to the king. She makes her choice before she even fasts. She makes her choice when she sends word to Mordecai to fast with all the Jews of Susa for her trial by fire.

Y'all, the time to make decisions is not when the pressure's on, when the heat is hot. Because that mirror is going to flash in your eyes and you're going to look that way and think: Wellllll... maybe that's my intended destination.

Nope. No, no, no. Get your eyes forward, locked on the Commander-in-Chief, and in that position, no mirror in the world can get in the way. 

Isaiah 58 throws away the kind of distracted fasting that winds up turning our eyes from our purpose. "Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high. Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed and lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?"

A little voice in my head says: Um, no.

So the Lord clarifies through his prophet Isaiah: "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?" (Isaiah 58:6).

Esther's fast, Mordecai's fast -- dove headfirst into the issues laid before them: Injustice and oppression. Both of them stand on the threshold of this war, themselves centerstage actors in this play, and they have a chance to do something about it. So distracted fasting, mirror-watching, is not for them.

"Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help and He will say: 'Here am I'" (Isaiah 58:8-9).

Church, we are on a battlefield. Some of us are still in sackcloth and ashes. Some of us are mirror-watching. Our Commander-in-Chief is right in front of us. Are we going to train our eyes on Him? Are are we going to get distracted? 

We have a choice. Make no mistake: We are in a global spiritual battle, and our Master has mapped out the battle strategy and given us our directions, pointed to the positions where He has placed us and said: Stand firm (Ephesians 6:14). 

Will we stand, when the heat gets hot and the volley gets going and the mirrors get blinding?

Decide now. If I perish, I perish, and who knows but that we have come to royal position for such a time as this?