On the Other Side of "No!"

Once, when I was a camp counselor at Bethel Camp in Kentucky, I was returning to my cabin to grab something, and I ran into a fellow counselor on her way down the hill toward the dining hall to get something to eat. 

I didn't know this other girl well; we'd had minimal interactions throughout the week, as we were both wrapped up in our cabin groups. She seemed nice. She probably thought I seemed nice (I hope). :) Our cabin groups were both gone now; it was the weekend, and our next crew wasn't due to arrive until the following evening.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and got ready to bypass this girl with a smile and a "Hey," when I heard a clear directive in my spirit: Pray for her.

I shoved aside the meaning that God had assigned to the words and nodded internally. All right. I'll add her to my prayer list.

I took my next step. No. Stop walking. Stop in front of her. Pray for her.

My flesh cringed. I immediately wanted to run and hide. But God... what if she laughs at me? She'll think it's stupid. She'll think I'm weird. It's probably nothing. It's probably my imagination... You probably didn't really tell me to pray for her.

Despite my reluctance, despite my doubts and misgivings, despite my fears, I stopped in front of the girl. "Hey..." I said. "Can I pray for you?"

She looked a little shocked. "Okay," she said. "Yeah, sure."

So, feeling like all kinds of an idiot, I put one hand on her shoulder, and I prayed for her. I don't even remember what I prayed about -- it might have been as general a prayer as it's possible to pray. I don't know. 

When I said "Amen" and we looked up, nothing spectacular happened. She thanked me and continued on her way, and I nodded and continued on mine, feeling like I'd done what was right, but was completely clueless as to why is was right. More on that in a minute.

Exodus 4 continues Moses's conversation the Lord had begun with him in Exodus 3. God has given some pretty explicit instructions: Moses is to go to Egypt, to the land where there was an active manhunt for him the last time he was there. He's supposed to march up to Pharaoh and tell him he's taking Egypt's slave force and primary capital... and he's leaving with them. 

Now, he's standing in front of the bush that's burning without burning up. Despite having just been told that God will be with him and that the elders of Israel (who will need to back Moses in his new project) will listen to him, he says, "But God, what if they don't believe me or listen to me?"

This is now Moses' third expression of reluctance. Twice before, in Exodus 3, he's protested against what God is asking him to do. Time #3, God says, "Okay, fine. I'll give you some miraculous signs that you can show to the elders of Israel and to Pharaoh and his officials." He tells Moses to toss his shepherd's crook on the ground. Moses does, and it becomes a snake.

God says: "Reach out your hand and take it by the tail." So Moses does, and it turns back into a staff. 

I don't know about you, but I don't know if I would ever be able to hold that staff again. If it had been me, and God had wanted to make the biggest possible impression on me, I'm sure my staff would have turned into a spider. Ack!

Anyway, then God tells Moses to stick his hand inside his cloak. When Moses does so, and pulls it back out, it's diseased and leprous and white as snow. Leprosy was a killer and contagious disease in those days. Moses sees the evidence of this killer disease and knows -- unless God chooses to intervene, he's dead, and soon.

God tells him to put his hand back inside his cloak. Moses does, and when he pulls it back out, he's immediately restored. His skin is as normal as it's always been. 

God doesn't actually demonstrate the third and final sign, but He tells Moses that if people still won't believe him, he is to take some water from the Nile and pour it out on the ground, and it will become blood.

Put yourself in front of that burning bush, and put yourself in the place of experiencing those three signs. Would you have any doubts left that God is requiring you to do what He asks?

Moses is a pro protestor. "Oh Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue" (Exodus 4:10). Incidentally, Acts 7:22 says this: "Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and action." 

So Moses's perception of himself is either a little off... or he reallyreallyreally doesn't want to do what God is asking him to do and is making up excuses right, left, and center, wherever he can find them.

God sounds a teensy bit less patient than He's been up to this point. Really, who answers God back four times with a "no" when He is giving direct instructions? Well... Moses, for one. Quite possibly you and I, too...

God says in a statement of sovereignty and big-picture thinking: "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf and mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go. I will help you speak and teach you what to say."

And Moses -- oh, Moses... Moses says: "Oh Lord, please send someone else to do it."

Don't you just cringe? I do. God has made it very clear what Moses needs to do. And Moses just doesn't want to do it. Too many fears, too many doubts, too many what ifs crowd into his mind.

So God commissions Aaron, Moses' brother, to help him. He commissions him before this conversation even happens, because Aaron is already on his way to meet Moses. Moses will act as a prophet, the mouth of God, and Aaron will speak the words that Moses has been given to say.

I'm looking forward to meeting Moses in heaven. I want to get to know him a little better than the information I've been able to find in the pages of Scripture. There must have been something profound in him for God to press him so hard for his service. He could have just asked Aaron, who seems willing enough. He could have asked anyone else. But He doesn't. He has a plan for Moses, and despite Moses's doubts, failings, and what if's... God pushes Moses into the plan He has set out for him.

Back to Bethel Camp. Later that evening, the director and staff sat around the campfire for our evening devotions. This girl I'd prayed for stood up. "Today, the Lord spoke directly to me," she said. "I was really struggling with my faith; I didn't know if I was even a Christian or not. I wasn't sure if He was real. I was getting ready to throw in the towel. And right about the moment where I was telling God that I wasn't going to follow Him anymore unless He provided a pretty convincing sign, Tamara stopped me and asked me if she could pray for me. And what she said spoke to every doubt I've been facing up until this morning."

You could have knocked me over with a feather. Y'all, I had nothing to do with any of that, except that I -- despite feeling like an idiot -- was obedient to what God had asked me to do. There have been many times when I haven't been obedient, and it makes me wonder what opportunities I've missed to see the hand of God at work in amazing and miraculous ways.

Moses almost missed something amazing that God was doing with the direction of his life because of his reluctance to step out in faith to do it. What would have happened if he'd said no one more time?

What would have happened if his protégée Joshua had refused to march around the walls of Jericho in what must have seemed like the weirdest battle strategy ever? 

What would have happened if Esther had decided not to approach the king because he probably wouldn't have believed her anyway -- she was just a woman (in those days, society held woman's worth as far less than the king's trusted adviser Haman)? 

What would have happened if Mary had said, "No, God, I don't want to be a fourteen-year-old unwed pregnant woman."? 

What would have happened if Peter had decided not to step outside of the safe boards of his boat deck and onto deep, raging waters?

What would have happened if Ananias had told God, "No way!" when God said, "Go pray for a man named Saul where he's staying at a house on Straight Street."? Saul persecuted and killed people like Ananias. Ananias can pray for him from the safety of his own home; why should he go stop in front of Saul and pray for him? (Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch!)

God answers every What If with a pretty phenomenal picture of His plan. If we don't have the faith to see it, we miss out. 

So instead of saying: "What if I lose my way in this scary place?" how about we say, "Go with me, Lord, into this scary place." It's a much better place to be.