Always is a Loonnnggg Word

I sat in my 7th grade English class neatly writing verb conjugations on a piece of notebook paper:

To Be:

Past: I was
Present: I am
Future: I will be
Past Perfect: I had been
Present Perfect: I have been
Future Perfect: I will have been

I'll stop there before you doze off. What I learned (besides which form of verb to use in any given instance) was that there are a bajillion (almost) ways to say one thing, in this case: Be.

How does one make a two-letter word describe existence? Doesn't that just blow your mind? Sure does mine. Life and eternity and existence and without beginning and without end is wrapped up, tied up, threaded through those two tiny letters -- B E.

Wow.

Okay, so Moses, in Exodus 3, has gone from Hebrew almost-victim of genocide (Exodus 2:3)... to Prince of Egypt (Exodus 2:10)... to Judge and Jury (Exodus 2:14)... to Superhero (Exodus 2:17)... to Husband and Father (Exodus 2:21-22)... to Shepherd (Exodus 3:1). 

That's quite a resumé he can present for his upcoming job interview, which includes a burning bush and holy ground. Beats all my job interviews to smithereens. 

As Moses is swatting flies and watching his father-in-law's sheep wander across the rocky slopes of Mt. Horeb, he sees a strange sight: There's a bush and it's on fire, but contrary to the laws of physics and nature, rather than the glowing heat and destruction of wood that normally accompanies bush-burning incidents, this bush is burning without burning up.

My footnotes mention that appearances of God are often accompanied by fire, and as I thought about this, examples came to mind: When Abraham welcomes the three visitors to his tent under the trees of Mamre, One of Whom is the "Angel of the Lord" (a pre-Christological appearance of the Lord Himself), the visit is accompanied by the fire and brimstone that destroys Sodom and Gomorrah. When the Lord leads the Israelites through the desert, He appears as a pillar of cloud during the day and a pillar of fire by night. When Moses makes a quick pitstop at Mt. Sinai to grab the ten commandments on his way through the desert, "the Lord descends on [the mountain] in fire" (Exodus 19:18). When Elijah sets up a contest between the one true God and the false god Ba'al, he tells the Israelites: "The God who answers by fire -- He is God," and the Lord burns up a soaking wet altar and a drenched sacrifice with a burst of fire from heaven.

Hebrews 12:29 says: "Our God is a consuming fire."

He chooses not to consume the bush, because He consumes the hearts of His people. The bush is His stage, Moses' heart and will is His project, and He will consume it, turn it to His will, melt him, reshape him, and use him mightily.

But first, Moses is reluctant. Exodus 3 is a fairly lengthy chapter; let me sum it up:

Moses approaches this strangely non-burning burning bush, and God calls to him out of the flames: "Moses! Moses!" 

Moses: "Here I am." 

God: "Take off your shoes; you're standing on holy ground."

Moses: (Kicks off flip-flops.) 

God: "I've seen the misery of My people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering." What am I going to do about it? I'm going to deliver them from slavery. I'm going to return them to the land I gave Abraham a while back, but which now is overrun with a lot of other nations. So Moses, I'm sending you back to Pharaoh, and you're going to tell him that you're taking the Israelites and leaving.

Moses, possibly suspecting that this might not go over so well with Pharaoh and the Egyptians, speaks up: "Who am I," he says, "that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

Moses isn't suffering from Alzheimer's. He knows exactly who he is. He's on Egypt's "Top Ten Most Wanted" list (maybe. It's been a while by this point, 40 years to be exact). Still, he'd incurred the wrath of the king of Egypt, and he'd fled. And now he gets to go back and casually mention taking away the entire slave force that keeps Egypt running in luxurious splendor? 

It's not going to go over so well at all.

God says: "I will be with you." This place where you're standing right now, Moses? You will stand here again with the entire nation of Israel around you, and you will worship Me with your people. 

Reluctant Moses isn't convinced. He flips open his notepad, angles his pen to the paper: "So... Who should I tell them is calling?"

God says: "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you."

And Moses scrawls on his notepad: "I Am, You Are, He, She, It Is, We Are, You Are, They Are..." 

Obviously, Moses does not have a notepad, he does not write the verb conjugations...

But think about it in this light: God never wasn't. God never isn't. God never won't be. 

The Israelites have been in slavery for at least 250 years, possibly double that. That's several generations' worth of years. It feels like a long time. A long, looonng time. 

It's a blip.

That big thing you're facing right now? That black shadow that hovers over your life? The dark, scary thing that's crouching in the corner of your mind that you'd rather get rid of, but you don't know how?

It's a blip.

Why? Because God was before you. God is with you. God will be here long after you. There is no beginning and there is no end to God.

I remember the first time my mind exploded over this fact. I was a young girl drawing water into a bucket from the outdoor spigot on our patio. I stuck my hand under the water and watched the mist spritz into the air and vanish, and my newly learned facts about the water cycle washed through my mind: Water never goes away. It turns into mist, evaporates, reforms in clouds, grows heavy, falls in droplets, collects, warms, grows light, turns into gas, rises... this same water has existed since the beginning of time. And God has existed before that. God created this same water.

It hit me like a load of bricks. 

I Am always is. Always. 

So no matter how big and overwhelming and dark and scary and heebie-jeebie-ish something feels (2020 felt like this to me. 2021 hasn't improved greatly)...

God. Has. Got. This.

Aaaallllllwwwwaaaaayyyyyyysssss.

Go on, let Him have it. His eternal hand is open... eternally.