Faith in the Darkness

This morning, I rested in these verses: "Search me, oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23-24).

I need a heart-cleansing, daily. Sometimes hourly or minutely. I hand over my worries to the Lord, rejoice in the freedom He brings me from those worries, turn around for a few minutes to concentrate on other things, and then realize I'm worrying again. I'm so thankful for the grace of God that pulls me through my unpredictable and unstable roller-coaster of emotions. Lord, rid me of any offensive way, lead me in the way, the one way of everlasting - not one of the ways. Thank you, Jesus, that You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

I need wisdom, too, daily and hourly. Sometimes I can't see past the end of my own nose, so I must trust that the Lord is doing what needs to be done, and I'll be faithful to do my part and pray it through. Trust, total trust. Lord, I lean on You; I cling to You. Keep me in the center of Your plan and Your will. I can't see very far ahead, but I know You are guiding me.

Psalm 143:8: "Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."

He is faithful to remind me of His love when I most need it; in the mornings, when it's quiet and the kids aren't up yet, and my hands are cupping my nice hot mug of coffee... I hear His quiet voice reminding me: "You're not alone. I'm leading you where you need to be, to the place I have already designated for you, to the table I've spread for you."

Psalm 23 is a familiar one to a lot of people, and maybe glance off you because you've heard it so many times, but let it sink in here: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. He leads in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere, and Lord, we get to dwell in Your house... forever! Hallelujah!

It's interesting; when I read my chapter in Acts today, Acts 9, I found myself in the story of Saul on the road to Damascus. Jesus appeared to him; he was blinded and led by the hand to Damascus and to a house on Straight Street, where he fasted and prayed for three days.

I can't help but see the imagery of the three days of black darkness... but sight and light returning on the third day. Snake scales fell from his eyes on day three when Paul was healed and redeemed from his past life. Where else have I heard of a story of three days of darkness before the triumphant return of light on the morning of the third day when all of mankind was freed from sin, redeemed?

Also... the snake skin fell from Saul's eyes on the third day; Jesus crushed the serpent's head (Genesis 3:15) with his death on the cross, and He rose again! That snake was gone, defeated, dead. I love symbolism like this!

Back to my original point: The Lord showed a vision to Saul of a man named Ananias who would come to pray for him, and then He appeared to Ananias and told him to go pray for Saul. "Go to the house..." and Ananias was obedient... but he double-checked: "Lord, I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to Your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on Your name." And God said again, "Go!"

There was no anger (at least, not recorded), just "Go..." and then again, after Ananias double-checked... "Go!" with an exclamation point.

God had a plan, and what a powerful plan it was! Saul, also called Paul, would be utilized by the Holy Spirit to spread God's church throughout the known world at the time... but all Ananias knew of Saul was that he was one of the most fire-breathing murderous zealots against the Lord Jesus that there was (because up until that point... he was).

So after Ananias double-checked, he stepped out in faith that the Lord knew what He was talking about... and he went and prayed for Saul.

Ananias was:

1.) faithful in prayer - he immediately said "Yes, Lord" when the Lord appeared to him in a vision, suggesting intimacy, recognition, the groundwork of a pre-existing relationship, and...

2.) obedient even when he didn't know the destination, or where Saul's healing would lead. I can just imagine his thoughts: Lord, as soon as Saul sees again, he's going to have his men arrest me, maybe even kill me... so, Ananias was obedient even to death.

Ananias is a bit of a hero to me this morning. Those were two enormous steps of faith he took: faithfulness and obedience in the face of lack of knowledge. But God is faithful in return, and as a plus, He knows what's going to happen.

I'm praying this morning for courage in the face of the unknown, for revival - especially among the young people - for the Lord to gather His elect from the four winds (Matthew 13:27), for His kingdom to come and His will to be done, for the church to be refined in the Truth of God's word.